Friday, November 27, 2009

The Skewed Sex Ratio - Effect and Fallout on the New World

When I told one of my friends that I'd gotten into the ISB, the first thing he did was pull up the class profile and check the male-female ratio. The things he said after that are well beyond the purview of civilized human conversation, but I'm not gonna get into that right now. My mandated task, today, is to talk about the sex ratio at the ISB!

His college, "MET" had been rated one of the best colleges in Asia because of the low male-to-female ratio. His was almost 1:1 when he was there. Mine is 3:1. (Seeing the batch this time, I'm tempted to believe that it will rise to 9:1!)

So what does this mean for us? The ISB Class of 2011. It means a few essential things:
1. Don't come here if you wanna make the naughty with someone else. In this class of intense competition, if you do make the naughty - the boys of the school will hold a parade in your honour and felicitate you at the LRC
2. The Sk(r)ewed sex ratio means that lesser boys will be out on night walks and on the phone, etc etc, making class more competitively intense because everyone had read their cases last night.
3. This intense competition will result in the poor suckers in relationships on campus having to cut their phone calls shorter and try and study more. Resulting in intense strain on relationships. This will result in more break-ups, probably some infidelity, sex, lies and videotape.

Going on a tangent here... but I'm seeing that increasing the male-female ratio is beneficial coz the student body gets more hours studying, right? All the Male Chauvinist Pigs who're with me on this say "Oink!"

With the efflux of time, the students will get intensely stressed as the humungous guy population realises that they're not gonna ever go on a date with anyone on the campus, so they start lurking around the NIFT campus nearby. Some even pay visits to the other notorious-for-relationship-walla-bschool-in-the-vicinity-with-a-name-horrifyingly-similar-to-ours!

Pre-joining, guys are already discussing male stripper options and the possibility of enough alcohol helping blur the fine line between the sexes. Compound it with the passage of time. and are the most patronised websites on campus. The management knows that blocking these sites will trigger rioting. Campus IT refers to these sites as "Sensitive" sites.

The student body begins to complain to their parents of a lot of pressure and stress. Parents tell their families and friends that the study load is too much and people begin to revere the ISB brand for the grueling course work. R-E-S-P-E-C-T! But at the same time, the students look haggard, guys take to drinking and praying to demons for a good bride. The arranged marriage market picks up and the gossiping aunties of our colonies receive patronage when they should only get the chappal.

All this because there aren't enough girls in the school.


(by the way: why hasn't anyone invented a smiley for "Crap!"?)


  1. Hehe...the butterfly just fluttered, the tsunami is yet to come! :)


  3. Jainam has also been kind enough to add that if someone were to get married to any of the girls in ISB, all the guys should have a moments silence in condolence...

  4. Dude..!!! I meant married to anyone !!!!

  5. Nice... :-) Good read! Talk about the butterfly effect!

  6. Man ! that looks like something to look fwd to ;)

  7. LADKO! NIFT ki TARAH march! Since we are all going to b-school we need a plan for NIFT. All hands on deck!

  8. If I may so preposterous: am just happy that Abhishek spelt deck with an 'e' instead of with an 'i'... lol...