Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Xtreme Experience.... Courtesy Megha!!!

With piyush singing poems to his broken knee and bum(thanks to his sweet friends ;)) and me being the lazy ass I am, I am posting Megha's creative writeup on the meet...

Happy reading...

dont forget the pics at the end :)

Welcome!! It was a Saturday evening (jiska Intezaar tha). We were at Xtreme Sportsbar on an unlimited package for unlimited fun. Most of us were part of the Dhoom Dadakka last meet. But, we had 3 newbies..

Uttam comes along with his “friend” and says “Hum saath saath hain”. On interrogation, he reveals about his real-life “Saawariya” pose in front of a French babe, gets to know how Priyanka wants to change his Avatar and shares their plans for “Vivaah pre-ISB.

Vikram ne bhi Sapney dekhe.. Cash and more cash.. Shayad soch raha hai – ‘Money hai to Honey hai.

We can only say, “All the best, dude!!”

Al Ameen - an awesome entertainer and a great rapper. About the dance?? It was like “Taare Zameen Par. I mean.. a rock star performing on the floor.

We also had a guest appearance by Dhaval. While we were sharing our Das kahaniyan, Rishi says “Aaja Nachley”. Hum nahi jaante hain Mumbai Saalsa... Taal pe Naach humein maloom nahi…Par hum jaroor machayenge Dhoom!! Ahista Ahista, all of us were on the floor - dancing for the hip-hop, jazz and crazy numbers. It was always “Dil Maange More”. Masti me to hum sab hai Ek se badkar ek. Ash, Toufeeq, Sireesha, Rishi, Vikas, Navin, Vikram, Ameen, Uttam (and his friends) and I danced as if to sayRok sako to rok lo”!!! Apurva aur Piyush to Guru ban gaye the and were leading our crazy dance steps.

And then suddenly, Piyush is missing.. Kahin Paathshaala jaanewaala Jail to nahi gaya?

We see him speaking to some gals next door.. He was hoping ki Luck by chance kahin Ajab prem ki ghazab kahani ban jaaye. Par, Race me shayad aur log the. The reply he gets Sorry Bhai”. He comes back to our Team screaming “Rock On”. But, what we see is Dostana between Saroha and Piyush ;). Ab samjho yaar.. Life mein kabhi kabhi aisa bhi hota hai Kismat Konnection. Ok, lets continue, Let’s dance !!

Ab Paisa Vasool to karna he. Its unlimited… to khao..peeyo..mauj karo..

At the end it was “Kyon.. Ho gaya na?” for some.

And the action.. Birthday bumps for Piyush.. All go “De dana dan”. Ab Jaane bhi do yaaro!!

Well, going by this post, you may think I am a huge Bollywood fan... Not really..

But, our meet had all the flavours!! Music, dance, drama, action, comedy, masti, emotions….

Aa ab laut chalein, carrying memories of Jab we Met..

Jab tak Phir Milenge, I leave you with Yaadein.. memories to cherish!!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

With apologies to Mr. Arindam Chaudhuri

I was reading Mr. Arindam Chaudhuri's editorial, dated December 1, 2009, presenting a comparison of IIM, IIPM and the ISB. He does a stupendous job of converting an article titled 'Arindam Chaudhuri on why ISB is better than the IIMs' into a pro IIPM banter. As much as I might not agree with his point of view, I would be remiss not to applaud his marketing style. We should give props where props are due.

In this blog post, I would like to concentrate on one aspect of his article - importance of international placements to determine the caliber of an institute. Comparing placements at IIMs and ISB, he states that ISB is better than IIMs because a higher percentage of the class accepts international offers. Applying the same logic, he concludes that IIPM Delhi is the best B-school in the country (at least as far as placements are concerned) because it had the highest number of international offers during the last two years.

This argument sounds absurd to me. It has more to do with the fascination Indians (in general) have about relocating to a foreign country and less to do with the quality of placements. I am as guilty as anyone else out there in having that mindset. During my engineering in India, my career goal was to relocate to USA. Just thinking about my naivety makes me sad. Dont get me wrong, I love the USA and have had a great time for the past 6 years, but that should not have been my career goal.

Although international exposure is great, I believe that the reputation of the school is better reflected by the quality of domestic companies that recruit on campus and the roles offered. A professor of mine at the University of Texas at Austin used to say that the quality of a University can be determined by looking at the number of domestic students it attracts as opposed to its international student enrollment. Anyone who has completed their masters in the US will know what he meant, but for the benefit of others, let me explain. At most medium tier to low tier US universities, the engineering colleges are comprised of students primarily from India, China and southeast Asian countries. As an example, at the University of Texas at Arlington, the electrical engineering graduate classes consist of 95% international students. A friend who studied there told me that his classmates called their American classmates as "foreigners". Unless studying part-time, domestic students always select reputable universities for their masters.

In my opinion, the number of international offers by itself in no way represents the reputation of an institute. Placements can be better assessed by comparing how successful the institute was in placing students in their desired fields and roles. As an example, many of you want to change careers and switch to consulting. Assuming that your preference does not change during your time at ISB, the percentage of students who successfully transition into consulting would be a better metric than the number of international offers.

Monday, December 21, 2009

ISB Pedalyatris on their first ride!

After a bumpy 50km off-road ride on Saturday, a sore butt, no rest (Yes the ISB admit has made no difference to my weekend working status :)) and a bagful of abuses for from my friends for missing out the late night movie (my alarm was set at 4am for the next day), I was up and running..err..riding at 5:30 am on a chilly Sunday morning.

The First ride of the ISB Pedalyatris was going to commence in a few minutes! Sudarshan played sport and decided to turn up for the ride at the first touch point. We also had the company of two other riders - Sudip and Puneet (in case you’re wondering, no they aren't ISB admits :))

While I and Sudip wait at the touch point, we see a strange looking old man huddled up in a blanket approach us.

Old man: Hello…

Sudip and I (with confused looks): errm ..Hello

Old man: Any problems

I: No.. no problem..we are waiting for a friend

Old man (thinking) – What the heck are these two jokers with strange helmets, reflectors stuck all over them and different colored blinking lights on their even stranger looking bikes doing on the highway at this hour? (Yes, he scanned both of us top to bottom!)

Old man: uh ok.. I thought you were in some trouble

Sudip (smiles): No Sir, we’re good. No problem

Old man: So any services required from me??

I (thinking) – WTF?! What services? (don’t ask me, I am still trying to figure out)

I (trying hard to sound hostile): No, we don’t!

Old man: So, shall I leave?

(Excuse me, what is happening!! I never invited him

here in the first place!)

Sudip: Hanji sir! Thank you ( Thank you!! …Yeah.. thank you.. please go!)

I try to convince Sudip he was a ghost… :D

The conversation ends when we see a small white light approaching us. Sudarshan arrives..hellos…hiis.. and we are back to pedaling. I am a little skeptical if he’d be able to do this ride without cursing me for spoiling his Sunday morning with cramps. So for the first few kms, we ride real slow and I keep asking him.. you’re good? .. wanna stop for a sip?.. but what the heck.. a few kms down the road and I realize he’s doing really good!

We pace up a little, cross the dirty Badshahpur, dodge speeding trucks and finally enter the serene and quiet roads of Bhondsi village.

Quiet prevails. All one can hear is the constant pedaling. The dense vegetation on both sides of the road brings down the temperature even more. With red noses, almost frozen fingers but a lot of enthu we keep moving until our first halt at the ‘Cheetah point’ .. yes you heard it right.. the ‘Cheetah point’.. In one of my previous rides to this area, a local villager had once commented ‘Madam, aage mat jaaiye.. wahan cheetah hain!’ and I had laughed so hard, he thought I was a vampire!

Some photos here, a sip of electral, peacock spotting and we are back on the saddle to our final destination – the Bhondsi Ashram.. no we aren’t on some pilgrimage! The Ashram is the only source of tea in this area :D

We cross a lake on the way when Sudarshan breaks the silence – ‘Wow! This is the closest you can get to nature near the urban jungle in Gurgaon. I didn’t know such a place existed here’. I grin from ear to ear! That was exactly my reaction during my first ride to the area a couple of months back.

More pedaling and finally we are at the Ashram. We park our bikes and climb up the stairs for a better view. Security machaans of the BSF dot the area amidst dense vegetation.

Those of you who have been to Gurgaon will know what I mean when I say the sun rose from a bed of greens. It’s a rare sight here!

Time for some tea and sandwiches huddled up near the bonfire at the Ashram. Bad idea! Our bodies cooled down (froze!!) and getting back on the saddle was a pain! But the pain was bliss! The sun was out and we headed back clocking a total 35kms. Not bad for a first ride :)

The journey of a cyclist never ends. Another day, another route.. we go on.. exploring the world the ‘old-fashioned’ way..

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Fly like a seagull....with feet firmly on ground.

It has suddenly become awkward to crack those ‘life sucks’ and ‘I am an underachiever’ jokes.

Success (real/perceived) is like a heady cocktail. And for first time drinkers, it can give a very bad hangover in the morning if not handled properly. My Ma is a Hindi teacher in a high school nearby and she has a way to share her wisdom through one-liners, which she seem to have for almost every life situation. I have grown up learning from these adages. This is what she told me the day after I got my ISB admit.

Udaan jitni bhi unchi lo, dhyan rakho ki pav zameen par hi rahe” ..which translates to (However high your flight maybe, keep in mind that the feet stays firmly on ground)

I had long believed that modesty is one of the most attractive qualities in a person but it is not for everyone to enjoy. Not everyone is automatically eligible to be modest. You need to posses something worth praise in the first place before you can be modest (about it).

When he was not the star he is today, Shahrukh khan could easily stand on the seashore and shout “i will rule this city someday” and nobody thought it was immodest of him to proclaim that. It would be a different matter if he does that today though. There are good reasons why he would not do that today.

It has been around 3 weeks since I seem to have ‘become someone’. Yeah I know it sounds funny but that is what someone congratulated me for the other day for….’becoming someone’ (‘good for you, akhir kuch ban hi gae”). It feels good to know that someone is acknowledging your efforts, but at the same time there is an (unintended) insult hidden somewhere. It would really suck if my only identification from here on will be that I attended ISB.

I am not sure how this next year is going to change me. I am going to be in company of some very intelligent minds, going to encounter some very different schools of thoughts, will have to challenge a lot of my beliefs and am scared of what will I be able to bring to the table for every one's consumption. I am sure each and every one present in the class will be an achiever in his/her own rights and each will have an interesting story to share. The opportunities to know, to share, to grow and also to fall will be immense. I expect to learn and unlearn a lot of things from everyone but amidst all the noise which is going to engulf me in next one year, I hope I will still have the strength to hold my ground. I will still be able to remember the things which have been important to me. I hope I will manage to maintain an identity which is independent of the college I attend, courses I chose, groups I associate with, job I get, or friends I make. I hope I suffer from no hangovers.

Year 2009 has been very kind on me, personally and professionally, and in many ways has changed my life. Year 2010 will be a test to see how I handle those changes. For a while it had been an empty room, a wandering treasure hunter, a long drive to nowhere, a fruitless tree. It will be interesting to see how things change when the room is filled up, the treasure is found, destination arrives and fruits weigh down the tree.

Funny how the more the number of fruits there are on a tree, the closer it stays to the ground.


Saturday, December 19, 2009

Its not about the CTC!

This post is for everyone but especially for people to whom joining the course at ISB does not make immediate monetary sense. If you have a significant work experience it is likely that you are being taken good care of by your organization. Also you are settled, perhaps married, and feel quite contented with what you are doing. Why then have you taken a path that will suddenly leave you with no cash, grind you day and night for a year and perhaps be a little hard on your family as well? At the end of it you may or may not start earning as much as you are currently doing. You may be slightly better off but with a significant loan on your back, will you be really. To people in this quandary, I will say this: it is not about the money!

I am sure all of you who have paid up the initial 200k are pretty convinced that this is the right step forward. I am also sure that some of you still feel the occasional twinge in the stomach about where all this is going to lead you. Let me say this. Guys, you have taken the best step in your life so far! For life is not about how much you earn, but about how much you learn. At ISB you are going to be among the most diverse set of professionals you can ever hope to come across in your life. You would no longer be seeing the same people everyday – doing the same work for I don’t know how many years more. Life has given you a chance to meet new people, make new friends and learn things you would never otherwise have. It is time to rediscover those unknown corners of yourself and discover a sunny side of you that you never knew existed.

Ten years down the line when you look back, you would have the satisfaction of at least having done two different things with your career. One- your career so far which had enough achievements to help you make it to the ISB(believe me you wouldn’t have made it had you not been an achiever) and two- your learning at ISB and the step up in the knowledge ladder that you would take. Education is simply the best spend that you can make on yourself and the world class ISB education is priceless. Just imagine the who’s who you will be listening to and learning from during conferences and perhaps even usual classes.

So, forget the money, forget the CTC you are going to get – its not about the CTC. You are going into a world renowned program and will come out with a brand new (branded J) perspective. Welcome to the world of Indian School of Business!


Sanjeev Sharma

CO 2011

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Bangalore ISB meet #2
eXTREME sports bar, Indranagar
7 pm to 10 pm
Saturday, 19th December

Monday, December 14, 2009

Dec 12- We got in, we got sloshed out and then we passed out

For all those who want the crux of the matter, you have already read the title so that's about it. Others (with free time) read ahead for Dec 12 outing of 'useless' Delhi Admits...
Now for all those who love spam..here we go..
5:00 pm : Around 10 odd people were confirmed for the evening, then for some strange reason I start getting these calls... "Hey Vin! Is the plan on?"... All I had to say was ..."Yea yea..."... (I wondered then and I am still puzzled why did they call?)
7:00 pm : Another few calls.... "Where are we meeting? At Stone?".. My answer "yea!" ... Another question..."what time? at 8.30/9?"... My answer "yea!"... another question... "You will be there by then? right?"... My answer "Yea!"

My thoughts: This is easy... Just pick up the fone and say yea yea yea yea yea...10 times and say please fill in your questions, I just gave you the answers for all 10!

7:45pm: Sehwag starts smashing the ball... I look at the watch and say to myself.." If this goes on I am going to get late because I am definitely not missing his batting to meet anyone...Afterall, who wants to meet stupid morons, I see one in the mirror everyday!..."
Before I could contemplate more, he got OUT! I picked up my fone and called Vik, the second biggest moron I know (after me) and told him I am coming to pick him up...

8:15pm: Deepika calls... "I have reached".... My reaction..."Oh good! I am on my way..."... My thoughts... "WTF! Who comes before time, she is also a moron!"

8.45pm: A good 7.5 people are sitting in a space for around 3.5 people.... For those who are wondering about the 0.5 here... well that's Kriti...

For next one hour we were at Stone basically waiting for a bigger table... finally we got one...so now you guys will discover why all these people who came were a bunch of morons:
Reason 1) We waited for 1 hour to get a bigger table, the moment we got it...no one sat there and went on terrace (At this moment the food came and hence, I couldn't care less so I just went ahead and ate everything)
Reason 2) After 20mins when everyone was essentially laughing around, someone said this is not good let's go from here..By this time I had eaten all the food (non-veg only), consumed Vik's diet coke which he was getting along with his whisky. So I quickly realized that if we leave right now, I pay so much more than I have had as I haven't taken ...so I started shouting frantically... "we split the food n alcohol bill and everyone pays for what they had".... The morons agreed!! I paid the least, ate the most...and we moved out! Heeeehawhawhawhawhaw (yup that's the raamleela smile, I never got to laugh that way as I was always playing the role of Hanuman)

Juhi Dang aka Dr. Dang aka My wingie aka Sabzi waali mataji: She did not do anything, only ate her veg stuff which no one wanted and just kept shouting...."Next meet will be in gurgaon... please...." Everyone ignored her statement as here the bunch was so useless that they did not mind where the meeting would be next time and would show up anyways!

NEXT STOP: Urban Pind...
Vikas, the pimp: Just to faintly support the analytical posts doing the 'female population counting'...we were like 10 guys and 2.5 girls... Nevertheless, the pimp knew his way through the rules and got us a deal.
I never understood what people whisper in a nightclub manager's ears and then get people in...here also I did not try... Vikas was telling the that we are like 'the educated bunch' so we won't eve-tease and all... the moment I heard this commitment going forward, I stepped back thinking..."Wait a minute!!! What will I do if I don't do that? Who gives this idiot the right to commit on my behalf...let him get us in then I'll do it anyways".... anyhow kudos to him... the stud got us in, so Vik and I bought him a drink (Vikas, that was 500 bucks...actually 575 including taxes... I want a comment on my post that you really liked it else you pay me that amount!)

To my good (or bad) luck... there were so many hot girls that I simply got confused who to pass lewd comments on... so I just decided to go ahead n drink....

After this point it was pretty monotonous... we drink... then we drink... then we drink more... people left for home by 1.30am... then 3 V's .... Vik, Varun and Vin decided that they shall drink more... so we head back to Vik's place and do exactly that... After all this, Vik suddenly starts shouting like Dr. Dang... "I want food... I am hungry guys... Dude I think I am going to die if I don't get food right now!"....

So we go to Pandara and hog like maniacs... talk non-sense... and come out at 4am all drunk, sleepy, dazed! Outing ends around at that time and the meet is officially closed for the night!

A few personal abuses/derogatory/lewd comments follow.
Please read and get anoid and post comments... As always I don't give a FCUK (not a typo, it is to pass through the moderator's filter.. Piyush: FYI, FCUK is a brand of animal biscuits which I can't afford)

Vikas: He has already been mentioned, you don't get more airtime until Vik and I get Rs575.

Varun: I don't understand this guy, he seems to have no problems in life. He drinks, he smokes, he shags, he smiles and his dad tells him to do all this or else he is a disgrace upon their family! I thought only my dad preached such 'abonrmal' stuff.. Anyhow, the guy is always smiling
(I tried to figure out if he had hands in his jeans pockets playing carrom and hence was happy...but then as it turns out... he is genuinely a happy soul... shit shit shit! there goes my scoop for the post)

Deepika: Came early ...Left early... Made some plan to meet the next day for brunch....Didn't get up... nor did anyone else
Ok, my take on the girl... She is an anti-thesis for an Indian girl....As cool as they come. Very nice natured (so far so good)... Doesn't want to get married at ISB but doesn't mind being asked questions along these lines... Long-legged and tall but doesn't do the fake (horrendous) catwalk while walking on a normal day.... Most importantly, got us a 15% discount at Stone! :) :)

Juhi: Someday I will write a separate post on her... Not here...Not now!

Sarab: Duniya firangi saapa hai...fikar hee gham ka papa hai... apna to bass yeh hai jaapa hai... fikar karein fukre... HADIPPA!
translation: World is full of strange people... Worry is the underlying cause for all pain n sorrow... My motto is have and let fools worry! HADIPPA (yes 'hadippa' is 'hadippa' in English too)

He is my senior from college so he can make me strip and make me dance with a peacock feather stuck up my a$$ so I am not going to write anything about him.
(Ok fine... I will write...)

He is another anti-thesis(for a sardar). Just when you think all sardars are size of a bombay flat (6ft by 8ft) and drive a huge SUV... here is one who is normal size, drives a normal car and guess what he doesn't even talk like he is speaking to a deaf old woman... Not loud, hasn't got weird stickers on his car and isn't dating a very hot sardarni who looks half-israeli, half-afghani and completely hot!

Vik: He is the second biggest moron amongst the admits (we all know the biggest, don't we?).. He keeps drinking and somehow derives pleasure out of getting people around him also drunk..
And then came the statement of the evening at 2.45am.... We were going to pandara to graba quick and critical bite so I just asked Vik if he can drive...
My thoughts: Shit shit shit! He will drive fast, won't apply brakes on intersections, would accelerate the tachometer into the red zone 4 out 3 times (yes 4 out of 3 times)...
As one moron knows the other well, he did exactly all this... and kept repeating...

Kriti: Poor 0.5 girl. She came to just meet us for a while and had plans to go with her friends for clubbing later on. We, the stalkers, went to the same club (where Vikas, the pimp, got us entry).. @Kriti: Remember what I told you about going out next time which I was instructed to tell you!

Who else was there guys?! I know I have missed people but then you people have to come up and create some ruckus to be mentioned here!

Delhi Admits:
The idea is simple....there are a bunch of thorough bred anarchists who have done nothing in their life to deserve ISB, the most undeserving being me closely followed by Vik. So we are like those impoverished monkeys who were supposed to be on road stealing bananas (read stupid jobs) but someone just picked us up and put us in a circus (ISB) where we get food, water, shelter and most importantly, uncalled for attention!

Therfore, we, the lucky monkeys, shall do our ape dance till april and as Dr. Dang shouted....next meet is going to happen in Gurgaon!


Saturday, December 12, 2009

Catching Up

On November 21, I saw, with 1 part delight and 3 parts disbelief, that I had actually made it to my dream B-school. Being in Hyderabad at the time, and a victim of BSNL's super-fast-when-it-connects connection, I wasn't aware of the activity brewing in Facebook and the Google group. I imagined all R1 admits would get in touch in some official ISB new-admits forum- what a gross underestimation of my classmates' networking skills!

Anyway, by the time I discovered the Facebook community, and later the Google Group, I felt as outdated as a Barjatya movie. Meetings had been planned, a collaborative blog was up and running, Arindam was chucked into the pool, and Saale was already an acceptable salutation. Now, being an '07 undergrad and hence a relative baby in the world of 6-year work-ex admits, I assumed the conversations would revolve around financial markets and diapers; but what a relief it was to see such intellectual discussions as NIFT's goris and a group for foodies! Though the insane speed at which messages are posted leaves me lagging behind in most discussions, it's fun to read whatever I read.

I've been Murphy's favourite lab rat on more than one occasion, and this time too, I proved faithful to his postulations. I was in Hyderabad for a good 2 weeks, in Mumbai for some time, and am currently in the US, but still contrived to miss all the meetings. Reading the blog and the meeting-rocked series of messages, I realize I've missed out on some serious fun- but so have all the R2 admits; so life doesn't suck so much, I guess.

There are so many things to look forward to post April 2010, that I just wish I could FF these 4 months or convince Boman Irani to let me use his time machine instead of that sissy Baweja. One major look-forward-to for me is that I'm going to be in Hyderabad again! - a little too far from my house to commute often but still only a local call away. I'm sure my parents will visit often, so better be in my good books (you can start by letting my pick my electives first or letting me bid for the best CEO) if you want some good home-cooked pakwaan on a regular basis. The only disadvantage of getting an admit from ISB is the ghar-ki-murgi effect- no more daamaad treatment like I used to get during my trips home from Banaras during undergrad.

Another major excitement is the political situation in Andhra- I feel whatever happens over the next few months is going to be a part of popular history for posterity; it's wonderful to view history in-the-making first hand. We might also have some case studies related to this in ISB.

Now, I have many more look-forward-to points, but those among you that read my personal blog regularly (exactly 0 as of now), know my habit of writing painfully long posts. Let me spare you and myself the tedium and end here. It's nice and cool outside- my bowl of pasta and tennis racquet are waiting for me. See you soon!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Loan Payment Affordability

To me, paying for an MBA is a personal expense, rather than an investment. Therefore, I hadn't considered the repayment schedule, monthly educational loan payments or return of investment. During the US admits teleconference that was conducted on December 6, 2009, we were discussing placements, loans, lifestyle etc.

This led me to analyze the various loan options, average post ISB salary (not CTC, but in hand), the expected loan payments and the possible lifestyle. I am sharing some results of my analyses in this blog post. I would certainly appreciate feedback.

Lets take the case of an average Individual A who uses a loan of Rs 18 Lakhs to fund his ISB education.

Loan Assumptions:

Loan Amount - Rs 18,00,000
Interest Rate - 10.5% (Source: Indian Bank - ISB website)
Term - 7 Years

This would translate into a monthly payment of Rs 30,350

American financial advisors recommend that the monthly loan payment should not be in excess of 15% of your disposable income in order to maintain a standard of living commensurate with your income level i.e. you will not have to sacrifice and cut back on expenses. This would imply that a person should have disposable income of Rs 2,02,333 per month, and yes, this is disposable income (after rent, utility bills, food etc.). This would not be practical under most scenarios (assuming the individual is employed in India).

Alternatively, we can estimate the average take home pay of an ISB grad (at graduation) and calculate the percentage of his/her salary that will be spent on the education loan.


Average Salary - Rs 19,00,000 (CTC)
Take home salary = 62% of CTC (Source - Great Lakes)
= Rs 11,40,000 per year or Rs 95,000 per month

Interest deduction:
Assuming a declining interest component, the interest payments during the 1st year after graduation would be approximately Rs 15,000 per month. Since Individual A belongs 30% income tax bracket, the interest can be deducted from Individual A's taxable income. Thus, he/she would save Rs 4,500 a month on taxes.

After making the educational loan payments and adjustments for tax deductions, Individual A would have approximately Rs 70,000 per month left.

As I have never worked in India, I do not know whether my assumptions are reasonable. However, I do want your opinion about the Rs 70,000 number!

Bangalore Meet: Epilogue

Now that I have officially destroyed everyone’s reputation and the dignity/respect they had built for themselves in their lives till now. I owe an apology to all my Bangalore frends. Let me start by saying this that whatever I have written of you has nothing to do with you whatsoever, neither is it a reflection on your personal achievements/strengths/lives that you lived.

It is just an account of Creative Cartoonist or Funny man’s account how you behaved that day...most of it is exaggeration and not true. Think of it as case when “You go to a Cartoonist and give him money to sketch you...and he makes the mole on your right cheek more pronounced...it makes your child, your family, your friends laugh on you and most importantly you see yourself and laugh...Do I really look this way??...then you think of that bugger who made your Cartoon...the second after that mirrors an amalgam of strange silence and internal joy”

Think of mC as that cartoonist...your very own Cirus Brocha for ISB@2011.

I seriously think that each one of us here is trying to REDISCOVER, to REINVENT one’s self...So that we can move forward n REWRITE our story (sometimes from scratch)...Most part of that search is going to take us to each other’s doorsteps...We will learn, accommodate and understand each other...what more we will be a TEAM...

I am most sincerely honoured and happy to be one among you awesome people (this one's no half truth)...I am sure it’s going to be hell of a year...with such memories that each one of cherishes them for the rest of our lives...

Welcome to ISB Class of 2011.

Piyush (aka mC)

Bangalore Meet: Delta: "I stared at Romanians" and "the tale of broken bones"

[**As you would have come to know by now that only two people are left on the cards to bear the brunt of mC's digs among all people who attended the Bangalore Meet.

Before I get down to their stories...There’s is something I would want to tell you.

Sireesha is one of the most interesting people I have met in last 3 or 4 years. She is highest degree of AWESOME that AWESOME could ever be. I had talked to her even before the meet; what is instantly noticeable about her is her carefree, nonchalant, and jovial attitude towards life that is instantly infectious. In 5/6 minutes of airtime she got to speak, she shared her two biggest failures in life, her obsessions in most clear hearted way. I don’t know if it is or not...the hallmark of a great manager but surely hallmark of gr8 person.

Piyush most certainly is a different kinda individual...I will tell his story too

Sweet and Smiling Sireesha: aptly chosen adjectives...she had this strange fascination for ROMANIA [**every time I write it...say it loud with me...you’ll discover something very unique] which I am sure has a lot to do with ROMANIAN guys...anyways she went to ROMANIA for onsite...where she enrolled in some course of learning tricks on how to STARE [**an Indian gal going there and staring at ROMANIANS...where are all the Shiv Sena/Rastriya Kannada Rakshada Vedikes ?] at ROMANIANS...so that in return she gets stared at [**that too in a really funny kind of way]...

she narrated something which was really hilarious...she got onto the flight that goes to ROMANIA...she went inside the loo...which had a strange door which didn't show it was closed...while the gal was SINGING [**rightly so...we all go loo to SING only]...anyways some-god-knows-who-but-some-cheap-bugger came and pushed the door [**by this time you know what would have been our state...we were literally rolling on the floor...laughing our asses out]...later she was locked inside...some good samaritan ROMANIAN came rescued her out [**now u get the fascination part]

Let’s say ROMANIA once more...ROMANIAAAAAAAAAAAA [**I can almost feel the love for ROMANIA, ofcourse for Romanian gals...so fir se bolte hai ROMANIA ki jai]

Pagal Piyush: hehehe :P...that would be me...did you really think I was for once not going to blow my own trumpet...I am aspire to be Marketer...so better I start now itself...

[**This is how it should have happened]

Hi, I am Piyush, frends call me mC. I belong to Varanasi, did my grad from IT-BHU, currently working for Samsung India with their Mobiles division as the Lead Engineer, basically into Product management and IT consulting space. I am also a published poet.

[**This is how it happened, ended up sharing the biggest fuck up of my life]

Hi, I am Piyush, frends call me mC. I did engineering coz I didn’t wanted to be denied right to ancestral property [**we are a family of 3 generations of engineer...only condition for share in ancestral property...u better be an engineer]...anyways joined engineering...did it in a way it should not be done [**now comes main story] fell madly in love with a girl...eloped with her...later her family found out...was trashed like anything...every bone in body was broken...which was followed by 9 months of recuperation and one year of self inflicted misery...anyways woke at right time...scored a decent job...then came IIMA fiasco...where I blurted out everything...apparently they kicked me out...closed the door behind...

two years later I apply to ISB...this time around I managed to brew some decent half truths...n made a fool of ISB...

here I am...sitting among all you awesome ppl.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Bangalore Meet: Gamma: "howz the cake" and "return to sanity"

Rishi: I was plotting his murder while I was returning to my home today [**Am I smiling? naa...this bugger made me start twice] our dude blacked out in front of gal...who gets blacked out in front of gal yaar[**were u in KG, even kindergartens would have atleast kissed the gal n ran away like hell]...

our GEMS bond managed to earn some brownie points though when he mentioned "people howz the cake" [**noone could say it was bad cake coz it sure tasted so sweet n sexy n I-am-going-weak-in-my-knees-after-eating kinda]...so ppl said awesome...tasty...etc etc...bang came another assertion “Anupama brought it...thank her” [**yea I have a 3rd eye...marooying chance on leg glance...I could literally see him salivating during this...every time Rishi even went within 3ft of her circle of influence...he went berserk...we had to literally make him sit away from her]

On more serious note I liked the fact that he had balls to say that he views success just as money...

Nitin: hmm senior most among us n yougest at heart...if u r thinking I was going to take dig at him [**naah I want my biryani when Anita bhabhi gets back]

Pragati: First and last day with Pragati... It was an enjoyable experience being in vicinity of this gal...she talks on a very low volume...anyways for people who were little far off she is big bollywood fan...loves to chat on almost everything in life [**it’s entirely our loss]

Mast Megha: Masti Express...my smiling partner...both of us need no reason to keep giggling and yea a poet...she wrote something which all should know

The Time has come once again to show what we can do
To work together as a team and create history too
So let’s go out these as a winning team
Let’s do what we do best, Let’ enjoy and scream.
Because together we can do it. Together we can.
Together we can become the best team in the land..
As a team we will make every place a heaven
So, here we come ISB, the Class of Twenty Eleven!!!

Adventurous Anupama – Oki the only adventure she did was cutting the cake [**I would have given her some more points had she taken the pain to feed Rishi...who in turn would have jumped over tables chairs people to eat that cake of her hand]...the HBTI gal...youngest consultant in IBM India...belongs to group who plan and strategize on how to do nothing...classical singer who didn’t sing for us [**hmmm I felt she did hide the most awesome part of her persona...what we got to see was a more subdued her]

Neehar Neeharika: donn ask me what Neehar means [**how would I know yaar] she had this little sorority thing going on with Aishwarya...yea both are BITS Pilani gals...I admire this gal for courage to say 2 things which most people sitting there [**including me] would treat just as appendages...spirituality [**connection with divine being] and old age homes...way to go gal...

Nice Navdeep: Robotics guy working with Applied Materials...core R&D ka banda hai...one of the 2 guys who made a jump from 650 to 750 str8...other one was our shahid kapoor...gf front pe iska bhagya palate hue dekh raha hu main [**yea I am a psychic too]

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Bangalore Meet: Beta: "Jiggy Wiggy on 4 legs" and "Victim of Child Abuse"

Abstruse Anand: I couldn’t get many of his fundas[**OK SO OK OK SO SO...talks like old fat-fati speeding towards u...durrrrrrr durrrrrrr]...our 2D guy said he was a freestyle dancer...though the only free style thingy that I can vouch for would be with Megha...yea the dude was up on all his 4 legs doing...trying to do [**I donno wat but] looked a lot like some jiggy wiggy...it was just that it was public place...n we didn’t want to leave with a scarred psyche like taufeeq’s...So our firemen jumped in at right time saving many people from the trauma of a lifetime

Latebloomer Taufeeq [**one of the late bloomers...I mean late comers]: dude was a victim of child abuse...transforming into the muse for his grandfather [**who I was told was a kickass Photographer in his time...wait I am going to tell u why]...

hehehe...this guy had to dress up as a KINGFISHER Calendar Model [**coz it was 70's even swimsuits models needed...ahem *wink *wink wanted] with all jewellery, ghaghra chaniya choli [**with some oranges :P, padding for support :P], maskara, lipstick, eyeliner, fake eyebrows [**wait...yea I have exhausted all my knowledge of gal makeup]...n pose for him...this left him a extremely rare disease called once-in-a-while-I-want-to-be-dressed-as-a-gal syndrome

[**there was a lot of talk on male strippers...he is our nuclear bomb for Dilliwalas

I am thinking of organizing a Mahabharata play...where we will enact the CHEER HARAN sequence...I haven’t still finalized the female lead for my play...I wud take u without an audition :P

Artistic Apurva – He was sport enough to do stand up act for us...yea he does not have to bear the brunt of my digs [**if u want to be in this privileged category from next time...perform ppl]

Pearl Jain – Speculator who sat right in the corner observing other people...yea he gave really boring intro...everything seemed to start with stocks and end at stocks...[**He made our private love chat public...so I will behave as someone who has been cheated...Jaa Nirdayi...Media ko bulao :P]

Vikas G – This guy specializes in getting bitten by dogs [**dogs die after they bite him...apparently he was all sane]...getting caught by cops...but somehow manages to grease his way out as well...I am going to stay at least 100m away from this 2D guy.

Very Very Wonderful Vikas Saroha – he was a professional model with a portfolio...he showed us a few poses...which were really HELL seductive [**these are the people pushing article 377 into extinction...right in our homes...we don’t even realize]...I had to control myself to not being turned on: P...[**I donn swing the other way :P]

Anonymous Amogh: [**me thinks he was Apparently!!! Amogh]

Bangalore Meet: Alpha: "a sin" and "boom baam echoiee echoiee echoiee"

4:30 pm – Began the round of intro’s...with a silly game of juxtaposing an adjective starting with same letter as your name’s first letter...when we finished this round ...I seriously felt we all were just a bunch of super achiever’s who have made it their way through to ISB [**I donn complain as long as I am in]...still were neck deep in past [**now is time to have some fun with everyone...hehehehahahahuhuhu]

mC: I had not expected the round of intro’s to start with me...but it did...said something...will come to it later...which set the tempo for each of others...n boy we had fun

Nikhil: for all practical purposes henceforth be named SHAHID KAPUR...who is till this point a really bad dancer...his only claim to fame was...wait for it...wait for it...he got kissed by a gal in a night club...n he was drunk to the point that he couldn't remember the dimensions [**yea ppl dimensions] of the gal...[**as always I am your mC forever...so I am gonna help him remember the dimensions...hehehuhuhaha]...

what our shahid didn't know was that I too was present in that night [**True Story!!!]...here goes what I saw...a group of old Parsee aunties were celebrating the B'day of their best friend Bahar Banu...they get high on tequila...n one of them throws a dare at B'day gal [**who btw is just in her 60's...n 200 pounds]...So bahar banu gets up and looks at out shahid and says "Kitna cute dhikkra che" [**I will leave the rest to your imagination]

Awesome [**okie I helped a little...what can I say I have such large heart..**this was like a million years before in the time when I realized she was married]

Awesome Aishwarya [**rai...oHHH!!! ooops...Singh]: Hi I am Aishwarya...I work for TI [**hopes going up]...blah blah blah...I like clubbing, dancing [**hopes sky rocketing now]...more blah blah [**HOPE IS NOW TOPE...abe hindi vala chirkut]...yea I forgot to mention...I am married [**yea gubbaro me gabbar ne ched kar diya...sadly there was no sound]

mC: aaaaahhhhhhhh[**sad grunt]

Followed by lukhi junta: aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh[**intensity was infinite times greater]

Anyways after the intro things many things dawned on me...this one’s married as well...yea she is my neighbour...so no digs [**I see some people ass’s on fire]

Notorious Navin: The guy who works at infosys and has not been onsite for 4.5 years [**all the traits of LOSERRR...he himself admitted it]...but people stand up on your ears...bow to this gr8 mann...yea HIS FUCKING FUNDING OF 20LAKHS is being financed by his girlfriend...girlfriend...girlfriend [**was ensuring (**in ekta kapoor style) u got it...I can’t rely on your dumb ass fucked up brains]...and the tables turned...BIGGEST DUDE EVER!!! [**I want some tips dude...I have nothing but the gr8est respect for this man]

Amazing Anoop: This guy gave a huge intro...infinite times his size...Interesting story...his girlfriend was getting married the same day in Bangalore [**not wid him though]...other thing I can recollect from the evening was that he developed some god-knows-what shit application [**webcrawler...still doesn’t change the shitty part] he opened everything from google.com/yahoo.com...but nothing opened...and he typed sdfsdf.com...there you go there was full fledged porn site up and running.

[**me thinks he would have watched lot of porn in office in the night...it might be cached...there u go...boom baam echoiee echoiee echoiee happening B-)...dude stop watching porn...u should make some]

Devil Dhaval: okie I luv him...nice gujju fella...my interview partner [**yea get me convicted for nepotism]...guy is a SAINT...I mean a real one...does not drink...no smoke...no chicken chikna...no gals [**I am not sure of his orientation though...will take my own sweet time analyzing his actions before I even enter within 3ft of his periphery :P]...works for Agilent...comes from Songarh 220km from amdabaad [**did I get it right??]

Simple Sandeep: simple goldman fella...nothing unusual...sat in the corner listening to people[**next time talk as well dude...bolne pe TAX nahi lagta hai re :P]

Bangalore Meet: The Prologue

Hi Everyone,

Thanks to everyone who came @ChillMadi Bangalore (last of the sane thing on this thread)

[mC's digressions marked with **, more fun...just in jest]

All who came to ChillMadi@Bangalore have personally pinged me asking for when’s the blog gonna be up dude...Like I am being paid to write things about people...anyways not a bad idea I can be the official blogger n you have to just keep feeding me good food and beer...so I am writing the first one as a charity...u donn have to praise me...I know I am gr8 guy...also some people were generous enough to give hefty tips for the meet...DID SOMEONE SAY EXTRA SOURCE OF INCOME...I have got mine :P

3:10 pm – I reached @Cafe Mocha and found Megha already waiting [**with arms open wide...at least I felt so...mera dil hai yaar kuch bhi feel karu] for me...I found one more gal...who was her [**big] small sister...we asked her to stay...but she declined [**which on the hindsight I think was actually in favour of Megha...who ended doing a lot of huff puff...I will get to this later...wait for now]

3:20 pm – Vikas Saroha walked in, confident handshakes and smiles [**the one that u have when you are under pressure from all directions and with no loo in sight]...then we got to what we do best posing for CAMEEEERA...n later I discovered Saroha jee had stint with CAMEEERA as well...

3:40 pm – Rishi, Apurva, Sandeep, Pearl, and Pragati joined in...Some were blowing balloons and some were putting up banners n stuff...It was warm with everyone introducing himself to others before getting down to the work...

4:00 pm – People started pouring in large numbers now...I was confused and baffled as to how many admits were there from Bangalore [**all these buggers just woke 1 day back]

4:15 pm – Everyone got restless...so we decided whoever enters from that point onwards is going to be ragged...we managed to rag[**make a fool of] Navin[**as if we had too]...then came in Aishwarya...who too was ragged a little[**why so?? Imagine a room predominantly filled with single guys...do I need to mention we went a little soft on her...it was just till the point we(single guys) had not realized she was married...then hell got loose on her too]

The Ugly truth...

Predicted Life of a ISBian (post ISB) - MCP version (PTW)

Placed at an average of 25 lacs per annum
Married to an outflux of 30 lakhs per annum
Writes a book on "Men are from ISB. Women are from Harvard"

After improving on diversity and risk taking ability, explores a gay marriage (after a case study presentation on ROI, space factor, smile to cry equity ratio)

Resume updated with the entirety of the first page to occupy acronyms (MBA, ISB, CLASS of '11)

Spend the next 30 years telling all the people that come your way about "how you made it, how exciting it was" and still hope to hear a "aaaahh"

MBA right.... need to show entrepreneurship skills. "screw it, let's do it" richard brandson helps to speed up. you start with the goal of one new business a year. end up setting a idli vada shop with A class branding after considerable market research, strategy & advanced accounting techniques

Suddenly your colony is brimming with a dance club, a book reading club, gardening club, cookery club, leadership classes, how to start your own company (idli vada wont be disclosed), all thanks to you after extensive experience with clubs and communities.

Your parents and relatives are still puzzled about what you did for one year in a B School. (It is this curiosity that is driving up demand)

and the alumni meet follows......