For all those who want the crux of the matter, you have already read the title so that's about it. Others (with free time) read ahead for Dec 12 outing of 'useless' Delhi Admits...
Now for all those who love spam..here we go..
5:00 pm : Around 10 odd people were confirmed for the evening, then for some strange reason I start getting these calls... "Hey Vin! Is the plan on?"... All I had to say was ..."Yea yea..."... (I wondered then and I am still puzzled why did they call?)
7:00 pm : Another few calls.... "Where are we meeting? At Stone?".. My answer "yea!" ... Another question..."what time? at 8.30/9?"... My answer "yea!"... another question... "You will be there by then? right?"... My answer "Yea!"
My thoughts: This is easy... Just pick up the fone and say yea yea yea yea yea...10 times and say please fill in your questions, I just gave you the answers for all 10!
7:45pm: Sehwag starts smashing the ball... I look at the watch and say to myself.." If this goes on I am going to get late because I am definitely not missing his batting to meet anyone...Afterall, who wants to meet stupid morons, I see one in the mirror everyday!..."
Before I could contemplate more, he got OUT! I picked up my fone and called Vik, the second biggest moron I know (after me) and told him I am coming to pick him up...
8:15pm: Deepika calls... "I have reached".... My reaction..."Oh good! I am on my way..."... My thoughts... "WTF! Who comes before time, she is also a moron!"
8.45pm: A good 7.5 people are sitting in a space for around 3.5 people.... For those who are wondering about the 0.5 here... well that's Kriti...
For next one hour we were at Stone basically waiting for a bigger table... finally we got one...so now you guys will discover why all these people who came were a bunch of morons:
Reason 1) We waited for 1 hour to get a bigger table, the moment we got it...no one sat there and went on terrace (At this moment the food came and hence, I couldn't care less so I just went ahead and ate everything)
Reason 2) After 20mins when everyone was essentially laughing around, someone said this is not good let's go from here..By this time I had eaten all the food (non-veg only), consumed Vik's diet coke which he was getting along with his whisky. So I quickly realized that if we leave right now, I pay so much more than I have had as I haven't taken ...so I started shouting frantically... "we split the food n alcohol bill and everyone pays for what they had".... The morons agreed!! I paid the least, ate the most...and we moved out! Heeeehawhawhawhawhaw (yup that's the raamleela smile, I never got to laugh that way as I was always playing the role of Hanuman)
Juhi Dang aka Dr. Dang aka My wingie aka Sabzi waali mataji: She did not do anything, only ate her veg stuff which no one wanted and just kept shouting...."Next meet will be in gurgaon... please...." Everyone ignored her statement as here the bunch was so useless that they did not mind where the meeting would be next time and would show up anyways!
NEXT STOP: Urban Pind...
Vikas, the pimp: Just to faintly support the analytical posts doing the 'female population counting'...we were like 10 guys and 2.5 girls... Nevertheless, the pimp knew his way through the rules and got us a deal.
I never understood what people whisper in a nightclub manager's ears and then get people in...here also I did not try... Vikas was telling the that we are like 'the educated bunch' so we won't eve-tease and all... the moment I heard this commitment going forward, I stepped back thinking..."Wait a minute!!! What will I do if I don't do that? Who gives this idiot the right to commit on my behalf...let him get us in then I'll do it anyways".... anyhow kudos to him... the stud got us in, so Vik and I bought him a drink (Vikas, that was 500 bucks...actually 575 including taxes... I want a comment on my post that you really liked it else you pay me that amount!)
To my good (or bad) luck... there were so many hot girls that I simply got confused who to pass lewd comments on... so I just decided to go ahead n drink....
After this point it was pretty monotonous... we drink... then we drink... then we drink more... people left for home by 1.30am... then 3 V's .... Vik, Varun and Vin decided that they shall drink more... so we head back to Vik's place and do exactly that... After all this, Vik suddenly starts shouting like Dr. Dang... "I want food... I am hungry guys... Dude I think I am going to die if I don't get food right now!"....
So we go to Pandara and hog like maniacs... talk non-sense... and come out at 4am all drunk, sleepy, dazed! Outing ends around at that time and the meet is officially closed for the night!
A few personal abuses/derogatory/lewd comments follow.
Please read and get anoid and post comments... As always I don't give a FCUK (not a typo, it is to pass through the moderator's filter.. Piyush: FYI, FCUK is a brand of animal biscuits which I can't afford)
Vikas: He has already been mentioned, you don't get more airtime until Vik and I get Rs575.
Varun: I don't understand this guy, he seems to have no problems in life. He drinks, he smokes, he shags, he smiles and his dad tells him to do all this or else he is a disgrace upon their family! I thought only my dad preached such 'abonrmal' stuff.. Anyhow, the guy is always smiling
(I tried to figure out if he had hands in his jeans pockets playing carrom and hence was happy...but then as it turns out... he is genuinely a happy soul... shit shit shit! there goes my scoop for the post)
Deepika: Came early ...Left early... Made some plan to meet the next day for brunch....Didn't get up... nor did anyone else
Ok, my take on the girl... She is an anti-thesis for an Indian girl....As cool as they come. Very nice natured (so far so good)... Doesn't want to get married at ISB but doesn't mind being asked questions along these lines... Long-legged and tall but doesn't do the fake (horrendous) catwalk while walking on a normal day.... Most importantly, got us a 15% discount at Stone! :) :)
Juhi: Someday I will write a separate post on her... Not here...Not now!
Sarab: Duniya firangi saapa hai...fikar hee gham ka papa hai... apna to bass yeh hai jaapa hai... fikar karein fukre... HADIPPA!
translation: World is full of strange people... Worry is the underlying cause for all pain n sorrow... My motto is have and let fools worry! HADIPPA (yes 'hadippa' is 'hadippa' in English too)
He is my senior from college so he can make me strip and make me dance with a peacock feather stuck up my a$$ so I am not going to write anything about him.
(Ok fine... I will write...)
He is another anti-thesis(for a sardar). Just when you think all sardars are size of a bombay flat (6ft by 8ft) and drive a huge SUV... here is one who is normal size, drives a normal car and guess what he doesn't even talk like he is speaking to a deaf old woman... Not loud, hasn't got weird stickers on his car and isn't dating a very hot sardarni who looks half-israeli, half-afghani and completely hot!
Vik: He is the second biggest moron amongst the admits (we all know the biggest, don't we?).. He keeps drinking and somehow derives pleasure out of getting people around him also drunk..
And then came the statement of the evening at 2.45am.... We were going to pandara to graba quick and critical bite so I just asked Vik if he can drive...
The reply: "DON'T WORRY DUDE! I AM A GOOD DRUNK DRIVER"
My thoughts: Shit shit shit! He will drive fast, won't apply brakes on intersections, would accelerate the tachometer into the red zone 4 out 3 times (yes 4 out of 3 times)...
As one moron knows the other well, he did exactly all this... and kept repeating...
"DON'T WORRY DUDE! I AM A GOOD DRUNK DRIVER"
Kriti: Poor 0.5 girl. She came to just meet us for a while and had plans to go with her friends for clubbing later on. We, the stalkers, went to the same club (where Vikas, the pimp, got us entry).. @Kriti: Remember what I told you about going out next time which I was instructed to tell you!
Who else was there guys?! I know I have missed people but then you people have to come up and create some ruckus to be mentioned here!
The idea is simple....there are a bunch of thorough bred anarchists who have done nothing in their life to deserve ISB, the most undeserving being me closely followed by Vik. So we are like those impoverished monkeys who were supposed to be on road stealing bananas (read stupid jobs) but someone just picked us up and put us in a circus (ISB) where we get food, water, shelter and most importantly, uncalled for attention!
Therfore, we, the lucky monkeys, shall do our ape dance till april and as Dr. Dang shouted....next meet is going to happen in Gurgaon!